Two Steps Forward

The title of this post was going to be "Two Steps Forward, One Step Back", but as you can see, its just "Two Steps Forward".  Today was a true test or maybe more like a final exam.  Thankfully I passed.  I more than passed, I scored a B+ or maybe even an A-.

Since it was my day off, I knew I would be spending time with my mom which is always a gamble.  Sort of like walking down a dark alley in the middle of downtown Minneapolis.  Maybe you survive, maybe you don't, or maybe you just get maimed.  Its a risk at any rate.  Knowing that today could be a challenge for me, I woke up anxious and crabby for what dangers were lurking ahead for me.

The first stop at my mom's house was a huge success.  I went up there to mow their lawn.  While there, I avoided the strawberry shortcake, the cookie jar, and the peanut M&Ms.  I did what I came to do, mowed the lawn, and returned home.  Before heading for home, Mom offered to make lunch later.  I declined saying I might have plans with a friend later.

After a few hours at home, Mom calls to once again invite me up for a late lunch.  Hamburgers and malts.  I accepted the offer this time as my stomach was rumbling so loud it awoke me from my nap.  One rumble lasted a long time causing the cat to jump off the couch.  In other words, I was hungry.  So, I said I would come up for lunch, but the malt wasn't necessary.  Mom said she would make it anyway.

On my drive up to my mom's, that is when I wrote the title of this blog.   I envisioned myself pigging out at mom's which would then "allow" me to have a binge fest once I got back home.  Before even eating at mom's, I already gave myself permission to come back to my own home and dig into that still unopened frozen yogurt.  I was making plans to continue to eat at home, making plans to binge.  Prematurely chalking today up as a failure.  If I fail, I might as well fail Big.

Then, I stopped myself.  I changed my thinking.  I reassured myself that it was OK to eat a Hamburger, and even OK to have a malt.  It wouldn't mean I had failed.  I want to be able to eat a hamburger and malt from time to time.  This isn't supposed to be a restrictive "diet".

Once I got to my mom's, she informed me that she had no ice cream, so no malts.  Whew!  That was actually a huge relief for me to hear.  Then I ate my lunch, took the dogs for a hike, and am now at home binge free!  The potential of today was huge, but I handled it.  This is how I want it to be.  Except I want it to come more easily, and I think it will with time. 

Intake:
Bowl of cereal
apple
hamburger
small helping of potato chips (maybe about 15)
applesauce
freeze pop
bite size sample of carmel apple
few grapes

Activity
mowed lawn = 50 minutes
hike = 40 minutes

Not a horrible day.  Could have been a bit better, but could have been a whole lot worse.