All or Nothing

Today I am super crabby.  Not sure why.  Actually I might know why; I ate a hotdog.  Yes, a fucking hotdog.  So stupid that I would be crabby over that, but I keep beating myself up because I ate a damn hotdog.  Then my more reasonable self kicks in and says, "it was a fucking hotdog.  big deal". 

Here is how it went down.  After work I stopped at my mom's to walk the dogs.  She invited me for dinner.  I declined saying I had a ton of food at home to eat, which I did.  Then the tuna salad and hotdog started to sound mighty tasty so I caved and accepted her dinner invite.  That is when I got crabby.  I didn't want to eat that food; I already had my dinner planned out at home; and a hotdog does not really have nutritional value. 

That is how I roll.  All or Nothing.  Now that I am at my house, I am ruminating on that damn hotdog.  I want to eat..  BAD.  I still want to eat my regularly planned dinner. I want to eat cereal.  I want the DQ.  I feel like I failed my day today because I ate a fucking hotdog.  Its so stupid, but it is so real.  This is how I end up sabotaging myself whenever I attempt to alter my changing habits.  One thing makes me feel like a failure and I give up.  I simply give up.

However, I will NOT give up this time, and in fact, my rational brain is pushing my irrational brain aside.  My dinner was so reasonable (small portion of tuna salad and hotdog).  My day today was awesome and I got in 75 minutes of walking.  Its fucking OK to eat a goddamn hotdog.  And beyond that, the last 2 weeks have been awesome!  Yes, today marks day number 14.  Two whole weeks.  I am not going to let one tiny hotdog ruin 2 weeks of dedication and hard work. 

The remainder of the evening may get tough.  Not much going on tonight so I will be kind of bored plus I am already crabby and delicate (for lack of a better word).  Tonight may be tough indeed, but I am a whole lot tougher!

Intake:
Cereal with blueberries
apple
1/2 turkey sandwich, salad, brown beans
small portion of tuna salad (maybe 1/2 cup?)
about 5 potato chips
that fucking hotdog on a bun
grapes
bowl of grapes, blueberries, strawberries
Huh, now that I write it out, it isn't horrible at all.  Before blogging, I totally envisioned this looooong list of food, and look, its rather puny. 

Activity:
walked 25 minutes on my lunchbreak
hiked the dogs 50 minutes
Total: 75 minutes.