The other day, as I was walking, I started to kind of freak out about this whole healthy eating phase I am in. Only I don't want it to be a "phase". I was freaking out thinking that I can't do it. I can't do it forever. Sure, short term is easy, but its the long term that is hard, and I got scared.
I get nervous for the next time I go out to lunch or dinner with a friend. For the next time I have a homemade dinner at my mom's. For the first time somebody invites me out for ice cream. For the day I finally do give in to greasy goodness. I worry that it will be the end for me. Well, not for me, but for my so called diet. Once I open that pie hole, it all goes down hill. I don't want it to, but I'm afraid it will happen.
Several times before I have said, "never again" meaning never again will I get this heavy. I feel good that I have lost a bit of weight. It feels GREAT to be under 150 pounds, and now I am officially not overweight. And because we all lie on our driver's license, I can say I am closer to 140 pounds which feels extra great.
But "never again" has been said many times before and I always end up heavier than I was before. I'm not exactly a yo-yo dieter, but each time I have lost weight, I've gained more back. Which is why I don't want this "phase" to be a passing phase. Which is why I am scared about what may come next. So far so good, but things can go to hell in a handbasket quicker than I can say "ice cream".
I share the same fear! It's ok to have a DQ or greasy delight. But I think that you are creating healthy everyday habits and will know when the treat is a treat or not or if you are eating too many treats!
ReplyDeleteI'm super crabby and angry at the world right now, too. It has to be the weather!
Hang in there, little Dawg. U can do this! Know it's not all or nothing and never will be!