Guilt and Anxiety

Worked only one shift today, but came home cranky and feeling overwhelmed.  Overwhelmed with what I am not sure, but my anxiety has been a little higher than normal today.  Plus I had a smidge of guilt leaving work short handed, but I really needed to come home to recharge and catch up on neglected responsibilities and duties.

I felt obligated to meet up with a friend who was having a bit of a Birthday celebration.  I realized again that I hate social situations.  No, I really hate them and I guess that is what pushed my anxiety over the edge.  I always feel removed from conversation and disconnected when I am in a group of people.  Even when talking directly with people, it feels forced.  All I could think about was leaving so I left abruptly feeling like a lousy friend for abandoning a kind hearted friend on a special day.  That ultimately led to more feelings of guilt and anxiety.

I have made a pact with myself to stop feeling guilty over work related stuff.   And that has been going quite well.  Work is more apt to stay behind those locked doors lately, but a little bit snuck home with me tonight.  Just for a little bit.

What does all this have to do with food?  Nothing really.  Its more about emotion, and I am choosing to blog it rather than eat it.

So Food wise, today was a good day:

Cereal with blueberries

apple

turkey sandwich
cherries/pineapple

corn on the cob
salad
watermelon/cherries

frozen yogurt with strawberries and whipped cream

grapes

freeze pop
After work I hiked the dogs for 35 minutes
then I pushed myself to come home and do Richard for 20 minutes.  It was a push to get myself to exercise when all I really wanted to do was sink into the couch and veg, but I did it.  And I felt so good afterwards!  The tape is more of a stretch/relaxation tape and it felt so good to let some of that stress, anxiety, and feelings of being overwhelmed go. 

Aaahhhhhhhh.