Today was a disaster. The worst day since my journey into health-dom. Old habits, old thinking patterns, a full fledged binge-o-rama. A very disappointing day. Very disappointing. Yet, I continue to binge on Skittles and M&M's as I write this blog.......Its a done deal. Might as well continue on.
I did well up until about sundown. Then the munchies hit and I listened to them. First over indulging on grapes, cherries, and peanuts. That quickly spiraled to ice cream and now a raid on the candy drawer where I am babysitting while my friends are out having fun.
Yes, it was a "poor me" kind of a day. A day I felt lonely. A day where I observed irrational thoughts. Not sure if this led to my binge fest, but I'm sure it contributed. I had it planned out, too. When I agreed to babysit tonight, I thought of the giant snack drawer awaiting me. Once the little darlings got into bed, I helped myself to the jackpot of all jackpots.
I don't want to write all my food down, but I will try to see if maybe I can:
cereal with strawberries
bowl of grapes/cherries
chicken/veggie stir fry
more fruit
pudding
handful of peanut mix (no chocolate this time)
egg/cheese on toast
more fruit
snap peas
then the binge started:
more peanut mix
dried cranberries
more peanut mix
grapes
frozen yogurt with chocolate and whipped cream
more frozen yogurt (without the toppings)
more grapes
then the candy fest:
MANY bags of snack size M&Ms and M&M minis
one bag of snack size Skittles
Starburst
sweet tarts
smarties
(The bottom 3 I don't even love)
And I want a DQ blizzard. BUT, I will NOT get one on my way home. NO WAY!
Earlier today I was proud of turning down a malt while at my mom's house. Hell, I should have said Yes.
Activity:
I did start out with an hour roller blade
also I hiked the dogs for 40 minutes
One horrible day in nearly 3 months isn't bad, however, I see how easy it is to slip into old habits, familiar habits, comforting habits. And yet, I am continuing to take breaks from blogging to raid the snack drawer. It isn't a good day. I feel incredibly guilty and extremely disappointed in myself. Yet I don't stop.
Searching yet again for that successful tomorrow. Searching for that and a spot to hide the evidence of my raid on a friend's snack drawer.......
And now I had to edit. I just got done wolfing down those devilish fruit snacks. Let it be known that the Dora fruit snacks are far superior to the Thomas the Tank fruit snacks. I'm getting sick.
And now let's add in potato chips :(
Way to be honest, man! You have done wonderfully and one bad day won't ruin your plan. Good job recognizing your thinking patterns. I think this whole thing is more about the emotional states we find ourselves in and how we cope rather than the food...but I'm sure you know that.
ReplyDeleteOh Rats. Sorry you had such a bummer day, but that is reality. Some days just go down the crapper. I know this was a long time ago now, so keep on keeping on, and putting this one behind you!
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