Old Habits

Its a rough evening tonight.  Rough in the sense that I want to eat.  BAD!  In fact, I have been eating.  Eating nonstop since coming home from work.  Its a mini binge, but on mostly healthy things.  The problem is that my tummy is full and I continue to eat, continue to think about what I can eat next, and, yes, the thought of running to the DQ has crossed my mind.  This is one of my hardest evenings in a very long time.  Yet today at work, I turned down a cookie from the Cookie Lady and a piece of Dove chocolate from a coworker.  Then I came home and started making excuses why I am not exercising tonight.  "I'm too tired".  "Its too windy".  "I deserve a break".  And then old habits started creeping in and it is taking all I have to keep my positive talk going.  But I did succumb.  It was not mindful eating at all.

Its only been 2 hours since I have been home from work and in this time I have eaten: a handful of assorted nuts with dried cranberries, several raspberries, my dinner which consisted of a bean/rice/chicken burrito and veggies and dip, a large helping of frozen yogurt with raspberries and another mindless portion of more raspberries.  Now, I know raspberries are not a binge fest, but it is certainly the behavior that snuck in today.  Had I had anything else available, I would have binged on it.  And, oh, I just remembered I have my niece's Starburst candy in the cupboard.  However, I feel better having just written all this out on this blog.  Yes, I kinda goofed.  But I didn't goof bad.  I'm still not certain I want to exercise tonight, but I might force myself yet.  I'm tired, stressed, and a little crabby.  A couch day (or rather a couch evening) is sounding and looking very inviting.  In fact, I might even crawl in the bathtub early tonight and just rest. 

I think I am craving food tonight because I have a "down" night.  Nothing really going on.  The past few weeks/months it seems I have been running from here to there and back again that to have nothing on my schedule is leaving a lot of think time and a lot of food time.  But, wow, blogging it, and working through it while I type has been SO HELPFUL!

Now that I did this and worked through some of my munchies, I am going to go for a very brief walk, come home, take a bath, and have a couch evening while watching America's Got Talent. 

Thank You, Blog, Thank You.

Food today:
Cereal with raspberries

granola bar

turkey sandwich
yogurt

everything I wrote up above.......

Activity:
Short 35 minute walk (forced)