FOOD!

Why is it so hard?  I have been failing miserably.  Partly due to not keeping track of anything.  Not tracking food, not tracking weight.  Nothing.  I'm finding myself, once again, in the drive through lane at the DQ multiple times a week.  Once again stuffing myself into a food coma.  Once again becoming oh so preoccupied with FOOD.  I think about it, I crave it, I succumb to it.  Getting dressed in the morning is a dreaded chore so I stay in my robe into the afternoon hours unless I am forced to put on a pair of jeans before hand.

My biggest accomplishment this week was resisting the urge to drive through Taco John's and getting some potato oles last night after Bible Study.  I don't even like fast food so not sure why the desire to go to McDonald's and Taco John's has been so strong lately.  So far, I have been able to resist.....

So, what to do about it?  I  don't know.  I wish I did.  I'm uttering that familiar refrain "Starting tomorrow" on a daily basis, and tomorrow never comes.  Its that same cycle I have entered so many times in the past.  Binge today, "start tomorrow".......Binge today, "start tomorrow".....until before I know it, I have been striving for tomorrow for weeks on end.

I just love food so much.  It helps me feel better when I am bored, when I am anxious, when I am sad, and it is such a fun celebration when I am happy!  I just love FOOD!

This was just a whiny post.  I'm not making any promises, because I don't know that I am "ready" yet.  Empty promises produce more feelings of inadequacy and guilt so for now, I am just floating along. 

Gonna go make lunch now.  FOOD!