Heed the Clicky Hip

I don't even know where to begin.  Perhaps I should start with the medium Pizza Hut pizza plus cinna sticks that I devoured almost in an entire sitting.  Or Perhaps I should start with the gigantic ice cream cone that I ate in just minutes flat.  I'm telling you this ice cream cone was HUGE.  Or maybe I should start with the bag of frozen chocolate chips I inhaled.  Regardless of where I start, the result is still the same.......I'm doing horribly.  And also regardless of where I start, I know I must finish on a much better note.

Not sure how or why things started to spiral out of control into a food frenzy.  I'm irritable, crabby, and maybe a little depressed.  Not sure if my poor eating causes these uncomfortable moods or if my uncomfortable moods causes my over eating.  Likely, a co-occurring relationship and one impacts the other.

Also, I notice changes in my body.  I'm sore and achy.  My clicky hip has returned.  My back aches.  It takes longer to poop.......  Energy is non existent.  Even something as common place as simple socializing sucks whatever energy reserves I had saved up.  Leaving enough motivation only for a bath and television. 

So that is where I am.  Way far from where I want to be.  So what gives? 

Not sure.  Each day I sincerely strive to do better, eat better, feel better.  I have even summoned the help and support of a few trusted friends so that we can act as encouragement for one another.  Seems like all women struggle on some level with a bizarre relationship with food.

I'm also contemplating doing a "cleanse" diet that claims to detoxify.  It encourages no processed foods, no glutton, no sugar, no caffeine.  But, then I think that would be a short term fix (it is only a 4-6 week program), and the day I end the cleanse could be binge-o-rama again.  So I need something that fits with me.  Fits with my lifestyle.

One thing is certain; A grocery store visit is necessary.  After almost an entire year of not getting food from the work cafeteria, I have found myself relying way too much on the greasy choices our cafeteria has to offer.  Fries, chicken strips, CHERRY COKE! 

Tomorrow I intend to weigh myself (Its been far too long.  Time to face reality) and also visit the grocery store (Something I have been saying I will do for about a month now).  Yes, tomorrow.