No Excuses

Today was my day of "no excuses".  Yeah, I had me one of them last week too, only it didn't work out so well. There is always a good excuse:  Too cold, too windy, too hot, I have to work, I have a day off, I have been doing good, I have been doing bad, I owe it to myself, I have to punish myself, its a special day, I feel sad, I feel happy, I feel anxious.......you get the point.  There is always an excuse.

 After my binge day yesterday, something had to give.  Just for shits and giggles, I am going to list all the food I ate yesterday.  Its a lot:
Cereal
apple
pudding
2 cookies
sliver of coffee cake
(this was all before noon)
Then:
granola bar
frozen fruit bar
ice cream
salad
turkey burger
baked beans
fruit cocktail

then I finished with a giant bowl of cereal. 

That is a lot of food, but most of it was kinda healthy.  I had to balance out the midnight run to Taco John's the night before and the buffet two days before that.

I visited a friend of mine last night.  One I hadn't seen in quite some time.  Certainly when I last saw her, I was about 10-15 pounds lighter. Feeling so uncomfortable in my own skin, I didn't want to go.  Didn't want to face her looking like I do.  But I went. 

Since the last time I saw her, she underwent a transformation of her own.  Looking fit and in shape, she unknowingly brought me inspiration I so needed.  First, I focused on how angry I was with myself for allowing me to get this out of control.  During our visit, I schemed to drive through the Culver's drive through on my way home and get me a concrete mixer and maybe some fries. 

But I didn't.

I don't know how my car kept rolling past Culver's, but it did. (I did indulge in cereal upon my return home, but I guess that is better than Culver's.)  Images of how great my friend looked popped in to my head and I just kept driving all the while telling myself that I will stop.....not tomorrow....but now.  I have to.  Again, I am 10 pounds heavier than I was just a few months ago, but I am STILL 12 pounds down where I was about one year ago so I'm focusing on that.

I can do this.

So when I awoke this morning, I told myself no matter what happened, I was going to have a good day.  No excuses.  Within just moments of waking, I was tested right off the bat.  Another friend texted me and invited me out to Cold Stone later this afternoon.  Ooooh, so tempting.  How can I turn down ice cream?!?  But I did.  I texted her back that I couldn't go.  That was hard.

Later, I turned down a lunch invite from my mom choosing instead to go roller blading.  Though it was only a 15 minute roller blade due to construction on the trail, I did go.  Not only that, I took the dogs for a nice hour long hike.  Plus I went to the grocery store and got me some good food to eat. 

Yes, so far its been a good day.  Its far from over, but I really want this.  I don't want to feel embarrassed or uncomfortable next time I am invited to see a friend. 

No more excuses.