This is what happens......I do great for weeks; I avoid all those big temptations like dairy queen midnight calls, I bring my own food for work (even on doubles), I get a bit excited for Wednesday Weigh Day (which has been on various days of the week.....this week was today). The big day arrives, I step on the scale.....and I get disappointed. The scale does not move, and in fact, it actually went up one pound which is disheartening. Immediately I get pissed! I want to self sabotage. Like, I feel myself having those thoughts of, "fuck it! I'll just go eat 3 bowls of cereal now". Or "Fine, today I'll go to the Dairy Queen".
But then I stop those thoughts; I put on my game face; and I look at the situation with the motivation of wanting to succeed super badly.
And I take a close look on what REALLY went on during the past week:
A piece of chocolate (or two) stolen from work....every day.....
A taffy extravaganza where I ate probably about 10 or 12 pieces of taffy (and i don't even LIKE taffy)
A smallish cream cheese spice bar
A marshmallow feast where I succumbed to frozen marshmallows in lieu of running to the Dairy Queen in a fit of ice cream cravings. Though I chalk THIS one up to success cuz it could have been way worse.
A small bowl of cereal after work one night.
So maybe, just maybe, I haven't been doing as fabulously as I had convinced myself I was doing. Still, I want to be able to allow a little piece of chocolate or some taffy or whatever. Really, other than the taffy, I ate my treats in a very CONTROLLED manner and, that is a success in and of itself.
I want more, though. And I am not throwing in the towel just yet. After all, there is always next week.
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