What a Week

Another week has passed, but this was more than just any ol' week.  This past week was probably one of my most emotional weeks, for reasons not fully known to me, since I began this whole journey.  A true test for an emotional eater.

It started with a marathon at work, working a bazillion shifts and doubles.  It ended with a children's Birthday party where I was the only child-less person there.  It got me thinking hard core about what I am missing with the whole parenting thing.  For a moment, I found myself just watching and wondering what my little kid would be doing at such a fun gymnasium Birthday party.  I watched all the other parents jumping on the trampoline, laughing, with their little human.  Parents crawling through big blow up dragons, parents jumping in a soft sponge pile, parents enjoying their role.  All the little kids yelling for their parent to "watch me!"  And all of a sudden I felt lonely answering yet another "How are your cats" question.

In between the work marathon and the Birthday party, was just raw emotion.  Tears fell willingly and unexpectedly for no real reason. 

To fill the lonely void, I did find myself reaching for food.  Cereal became my new best friend, but because I was so aware of my desire to fill my empty void, I limited myself to just one bowl of cereal at night.

Then ice cream started calling.  Loudly.  I found myself at Walgreens purchasing some good ol' Ben & Jerry's.  Just a pint.  Ben and Jerry became my therapist for the next 3 days.  Not bad; one pint in 3 days.  It could have so been gone in just one day, but it did last 3 full days.

Also during this week, exercise has been minimal.  It wasn't until a friend convinced me to go for a brisk walk did I come out of this funk.  Reinforcing how crucial exercise is for my spirit.  It is crucial.  Now, today, I sought out exercise and got in a whopping 70 minutes!

So, this Wednesday Weigh Day was sure to be horrible.  Certainly one pound would have found its way back on my butt.  Oddly when I stepped on the scale I found that I had LOST one pound!  WTF?!  In disbelief I stepped off and back on again and found what I had thought to be true.  One pound gained.  I reweighed myself about 4 times all to find the same result: one gained pound. 

Then I pooped.  So I hopped on the scale again, and it said I lost one pound again.  I reweighed myself once again with the same reading so I considered that good.  Yup, I lost another pound so am down to 138, but it isn't a solid 138 as it fluctuated up and down so much this morning.  Either way, my weight didn't suffer just for one emotional week of screwing up royally.

On the upswing now.  Keeping "moderation" in the back of my mind.  Moderation at work and at home.  Too much of anything is not good.